Prom 2015

Today is the day of Prom 2015. 

I, obviously, am not going since I am a sophomore in college, but since my friends are still in high school, I get to be excited about it. 

Ria and Haley decided to go get their hair done at around 10-10:30 and she told me she would get home at about 12:30 ish or she would text me if she got there before. 

So I am getting ready at 11:30 when I get a text from her. It read "HELP IM HAVING A PROM EMERGENCY". I thought she was just messing with me and I asked what happened. Apparently the lady, who Ria paid $75 to do her hair, did a shit job. She told me her hair looked like a nest. 

So I had to stop in the middle of getting ready and basically quickly change and leave to go help her. She only lives like 3 blocks away from me, so it didn't take that long. When I got there, her hair wasn't too bad. I was expecting worse. It was very poofy at certain area and frizzy. It also was very random. Ria wanted the lady to loosely side-braid her hair and make it go into a bun, but the lady clearly didn't know what she was doing. 

I managed to sort of de-poof her hair and clean it up a bit. She was still iffy about it, but towards the end, she ended up liking it. So I was there helping her and Haley get ready. Haley had to leave to go get ready and stuff and I told Ria I would leave once we got pictures together. 

So her mom made me mac-n-cheese and we sat and talked. Then she started getting ready. Jake came with his parents and they all started taking pictures. Ria, I kid you not, literally looked like a movie star. And Jake was such a cutie in his suit. They were adorable. They left after pictures to go to Haley's house to take more pictures there. Then I stayed at Ria's house while her parents and Jakes parents mingled for a bit and then it was time to go to the grand march. The grand march, for those who don't know, is where the couples and group, get their name announced and they walk up on stage doing things or pose and stuff and the parents get to take pictures. I went with Ria's parents and grandparents. I am in love with her grandma. Her and Dani, Ria's mom, are so similar. I just love it. So after the grand march and taking pictures, we left. I decided to go back home so I said my good-byes and left. 

Once I got home, I ate and played foot-ball with my brothers. Then I think I stayed in my bed until me and my mom went to the gym. I ran for 15 minutes. Which I am so proud of. I usually hate running. It's something I can never get myself to do. I end up quitting after 2 minutes and today I literally pushed myself to do 15 minutes. It wasn't easy at all, but I am glad I did it. 

Then I came home, showered, ate, and I'll probably end up watching something depending on what time it is. It's 10:45. I'll think about it. 

Nails And Froyo Date

So yesterday was a fun day. 

Well, the morning wasn't, but the evening turned out to be fun.

It was Friday yesterday so I, of course, had school. I only have one class now since I dropped out of the other one. God that feels good! Well, I lost my (religious) necklace. It wasn't anything special to look at and it wasn't expensive, but it means a great deal to me and my family. So I lost that necklace and I think it might've been from when I went to gym on Wednesday, and I think I remember taking it off.... Wait. I don't really remember taking it off.... Shit. 

Well, now I don't have any clue where it might be. Anyway so I went to 3 different lost and found places at school and no one had it. The necklace has a little pouchy thing hanging from the string and whenever someone loses it, my mom likes to be negative and say 'someone probably found it and they probably thought there's money in the pouch or something valuable and they probably ripped it open (to find there's nothing valuable to them) and then threw it away instead of turning it in".

Well, I'm  trying to stay positive, and I'm hoping it will turn up in the lost or found or it's in my house somewhere and I just can't find it. It's stressing me out!!!

But after all of that, I came home. I did stuff. And then I went to pick up my brother from school and my mom wanted us to go do some grocery shopping and I asked my friend Maria if she wanted to hang out that day or the next day. She told me her and Haley are going to get their nails done for prom on Saturday. I totally forgot prom was on Saturday!! So I went with them to get their nails done. I didn't want to get mine done since I just recently took my gel nails off and I am really liking not having nails done. I want to give my nails a little break and let it heal a little...

So after getting their nails done, we went to get some fro-yo!!! Sooo flipping good! It had been a while. We also went to David's Bridal to go look for some, aw shit the word is not coming in my head. I had to look it up... It's a garter.. That's so sad. Haley wanted to get a garter for prom so we went there and there was a white lace with a little blue bow, which Haley was not about it since her dress was pink, but she got it anyway just because it's a garter.. 

We went to Marshall's after that and we looked around for a long time. I got a nice top. It's very summery and I really like it. I usually struggle to find a top like that where it's not scooting down my shoulder and then my (non-existing) boobs pop out. But yeah. It was only $9.99 so I am very happy with my purchase.

After that we went back to Ria's house. We had invited Devon (their friend. I don't know if I should call him my friend. We've hung out quite a few times, with the group, but I don't know if we're comfortable enough to call each other friends.) Ria's boyfriend Jake also ended up coming, but instantly regretted it when he found out that Ria was going to be doing Haley's make up. He decided to go to Taco-Bell to get something to eat. 

We saw Devon drive back and forth like 7 times. We had no idea what he was doing. Ria and them were all in the group text and we could see his and Jake's conversations, but he wouldn't come in. He finally came in after Jake got back from Taco-Bell. Apparently Devon thought me, Ria and Haley weren't home because her car wasn't in the driveway (she left it at school), so he didn't want to come in. Once he did and he found out about what we were going, he was also not very happy about the make up plan.

It ended up being a really fun night. Haley had to leave to get ready for prom and take a bath at 8. After she left, Ria started cleaning up her room, like how she always does. It's her thing. And she brought down he sticky bra for her dress and instantly Devon and Jake were drawn to that thing. Maria had to give them her old pair because they wanted to open the new one and play with it. 

Jake and Devon played with those sticky bra the whole night. They would try it on, throw it at the wall and see if it sticks, throw it up at the ceiling, hi-five each other to make a weird cuppy noise, wrapped it around a stick to make a club-thing, and used it as a knee pads. They were like little boys. Me and Ria would literally laughed at everything they did with those bras. It was a fun night.

I went home around 10 and decided to come back the next day to help her get ready for prom.  

It's Official, I Have Anxiety

I had my first meeting with my counselor. We got talking about things and I told her about how I had been feeling.

Needless to say, I have anxiety. I don't know if it's official if a counselor says it. I don't know who can officially categorize me into the anxious group, but she believes I have anxiety.

She says it's pretty bad too, which was a surprise. I thought it might've been low.

She wants me to exercise more vigorously, go get a physical check up, and taught me a breathing exercise. She also recommended pills, but I'm not a big pill believer. 

I also made another appointment to see her because she says I NEED to.

Do I tell my parents? Do I even bother? Will they get mad at me? or help me?

I don't know. 

I told my friend who lives in New York and she replied "no, you're fine."

Got to admit, that hurt. 

Counseling

I just did 3 things that have me stressing like crazy.

1. I went and talked to my advisor about my classes. 

2. I went to talk to my professor about dropping out.

3. I made an appointment to see a counselor. 

I am buzzing, but I feel like I am going to have panic attack soon.

I nearly cried in the bathroom and in front of both my advisor and professor. 

It feels good. 

I am worried about the counseling though. I have never done it before and I am worried how it's gong to go. I feel like I might cry in front of the counselor.
So that happened Friday. Today is Monday.
On Saturday, my mom woke me up early because we were planning on going to see this house but that didn't happen because the other people couldn't make it. Instead we did a major spring clean up. I cleaned up my whole room, put away my winter jackets, changed my sheets and duvet, and moved the big plants out of my room and put it outside.
Then I baked some cookies and found out that my cousin was going to celebrate her birthday that day. She has messaged me to come over at 3 and I got her message at 5. We went over, played outside, cut her cake, bought some pizza, watched tv, and I fell asleep.
Then on Sunday, I woke up early and we actually went to see the house. It was much smaller than I thought it would be. I really like the interior of the house, but the layout is a bit weird. There are a lot of random unnecessary doors and the rooms were a bit weird as well. My dad also thinks that there might be a water leakage in the basement, which isn't good. They have a 5 car garage which was really nice and the yard was huge, but I don't like it overall. I think it could be a bit bigger, the house itself.
My dad found another house a little bit further away from that house which looks nice, he said. We might go look at that as well.
Now it's Wednesday and realized I forgot to post this. Whoops.

The End

I seriously can't do it. I couldn't stay awake for my first class. My FIRST class. ugh. It's going to be a long day.

Basically just had a mini panic attack walking in the hallways. I was going to go use the bathroom so that worked out well. Seriously though.
I have sat here eating and watching videos for the past 2 hours and I don't want this break to be over! I don't want to go to class. I am not ready for this.
So I got an email from my advisor and she says that she sees that I am struggling with my class and wondered if I would want to come in to talk to her and get some help. What I would like to stop coming to school or not be a math major. I don't know if it's just school itself that gets me all stressed out or the fact that I am majoring in something that I absolutely hate and am horrible at. I don't know.
But I don't want to go to my next class, but at the same time I want to get it over with and the day and just go home.
*me enjoying life *notices the time *time for class *hates life.
I don't like this.

End Of Spring Break

Today is the last day of my Spring Break.

I. Am. Heart. Broken.

I just turned on my alarm for school and I'm pretty emotional. But at least I only have 2 days of school this week. Which is alright. None would've been better.

Nothing exciting. I went to the gym and worked my ass off. I am going to try to work harder in the gym and stop eating so much junk food. We all know that's not really going to happen, but a girl can HOPE! 

Today was another cloudy/raining day. LOVED it! But it was a little chilly, which I'm not about. 

I also flipping stubbed my pinky finger nail and it hurts like hell. I have gel nails on at the moment and I am afraid my actual nail might be broken inside. It's the type of pain that lingers around for a really long time. 

Any way. It is already 10:55 pm. I should go to bed before I fall asleep driving to school tomorrow and die. *knocks on wood.
I also need to prepare for school so I have to wake up extra early. Haven't made my lunch or packed my bags. Whoops. 

No India?

I just woke up and it's RAINING you guys!!! I'm so excited. 

I also want to go back to sleep though. I am knackered .

 I honestly don't really feel like I did much this morning. Just woke up, helped mom, came home, got some chocolates and that was really about it. 

I tried making the Tanya Burr's chocolate cookies. As I was getting the ingredients, I noticed that she put in way too much sugar for my liking, so I minimized the sugar. I also couldn't find normal white chocolate and had to buy Lyndors Truffle chocolate which has the truffle filled center. BIG MISTAKE. I think I put in a bit too much milk as well. 

But once I got it in the oven and started the baking process, I saw all this juice and liquid come out of my cookies. I think it was the mixture of the milk and truffles coming out. It started dripping and then ended up burning on the bottom of the oven. UGHHH.

So I some how managed to bake the cookies without burning the house down and was mortified by the way my cookies turned out. Once it had cooled down I tried one and it was actually good. Yayyyy!!!!.

But yea. I always make ugly looking cookies, but they end up tasting alright. 

Later towards the night, my mom was talking about how we should go to New York instead of India this summer. Why does bad things happen to mee??? The New York trip lasts for a month and India is 2 months. I don't know, this is so DISAPPOINTING. 

Happy Easter

Today was a normal, yet not so normal day.

I cleaned the house all morning, then went to the gym around 2. Once I got home, I got ready to go to this thing for praying thing they were doing. 

I got there and prayed for 2 hours? Came home and ate. I literally ate a small bowl of cereal this morning around 10? Then had nothing until 7:30. Which is absolutely CRAZY for me. I was starving.

I just finished cleaning my room up a little and planning for India. 

I think I have gotten my outfits and what to bring to India sorted now. I don't know. I might go buy some other things and what not, but for now, it seems finished. 

I might watch a movie now or something, but I am so flipping happy I don't have school tomorrow, YAYYYY. 

Come party with me. *mini lonely rave..*

I think I want to bake some cookies tomorrow. I am really liking the sound of Tanya Burr's chocolate cookies recipe. It looks so good. So I might do that. I need to go buy some chocolates first. I know we have milk chocolate, but we don't have any white and dark chocolate. I think I have everything else though. I am excited just thinking about it. 

Friends Day 2

My dad is currently using my laptop so I have to type this on my phone. Whoop... 

Anyways, so today was another very eventful day! 

I was woken up at like 9:30 to do yard work. That was fun.... NOT..

After that I had plans to go see Beth so i drove over to her dads house. Waited there for like an hour. No Beth.

So after no one answered the door or calls, I went to caribou by myself and asked if Maria knew where Beth was. Ria said she saw earlier that Beth was at her moms house, since they live next to each other. 

So I drove to her moms but her mom said she might be at her aunts to help them move. Found out that she was there and had to help so she couldn't hang out for another 2 hours. 

That was so freaking weird. I waited outside her dads for like an hour. Complete weirdo! Oh well... 

Anyways I came back home and watched 22 jump street with my brother then went to hang out with Beth. 

We went and saw Insurgent. That was good! I felt betrayed so many times! Ugh but I liked it! It was good. I want more.

After that, we went to eat dinner at Ruby Tuesday and that was so good! I got my raspberry lemonade and it was DELICIOUS!! I am still so freaking full. I got a burger with fries and some chicken stripes for my brother.

I went to to Beth's after that and we just talked. That was nice. Now I won't see her until school ends. She'll go back to her college and I won't get to hang out until summer time. Bummer. But it's alright! I'll just have to hang out with her like all the time before going to India. Then I won't get to see her. I also need to hang out with Ria during summer. This is her senior year in high school and next year she's going to Iowa for college and I won't get to see her much either. Also a major bummer.

Anyways, I tried out the eye shadow I bought from bare-minerals today and that was really nice. It's very subtle, I think. I also like the eye liner. It stays in place. You have to put the mascara on right after you put the liner on or else the liner smudges on my eye lid, which sucks, but it's bearable. Other than that... I don't know if I did anything else.  

Reunited And It Feels So Good

Today was a very eventful day. 

It started out with me going to my moms work.

Once I got back, I got ready and ate, to go to my friend, Maria. When I got there, I curled my hair for the first time in FOREVER! After burning myself for the 100th time, we decide to go to Chipotle with our other friend Beth. Right as we were about to pull up into Chipotle, Maria realizes she forgot her wallet at home so we had to drive back to her house. Oh Ria...

When we actually got in Chipotle we saw that Beth is already there and ordering. We tried to surprise her, but that failed completely because so many people were in our way, so we couldn't get her. Then we ate and talked about school and everything that's been going on. 

We decided to get Starbucks(of course) and then go to the mall. We went in Lush first and as much as I wanted to buy stuff from there I needed to get make-up from Sephora, so I resisted. Then we went to Sephora and I got a BareMinerals Eyeshadow and the Benefit GimmeBrows. 

After that we went to Victoria's Secret(we always have to go when Maria's there). She got some stuff and then we got some Caribou and decided to go to Target. 

I needed to get some more candles for spring because all the candles I have now are winter candles. And as much as I love those scent, I want something more fresh and springy. I got three of them and I seriously love them SO much. I also got eyeliner brush and the gel eye liner. I am hoping those are better than the liquid ones. I don't know. I just need to try out new things. I think that's all I got. I wanted to get this shiny gold stapler that I found so flipping CUTE, but decided against it. ughhh. 

After that we went back to Chipotle to get my car and we said bye to Beth and I drove Maria home. I seriously had so much fun with them today. We're all such weirdos and I seriously love them so much!

Once I got back I looked for houses with my parents for a while. Finding houses you truly love is so FREAKING hard. Why is that? I just want to move into a bigger and better house, but not pay so much. 

I tried to see if I can upgrade to the Iphone 6, but I don't know if I can. Oh well....

I'm gonna see Beth again tomorrow so that should be fun!

Broken Car

Seriously. I woke up this morning to drop my brother off at school and tried to turn on my car. The battery is dead. -__- OH  MY GOD. After all that cleaning my car wont work. So now I can't drive that until my dad comes back from work. Whenever that is.

I was talking to my mom about moving today. She wanted me to call my uncle and see if it's a good idea to move houses or not. She told me that if he thinks it's a good idea we might move. If we do decide to do that, my parents might not be able to go to India this summer with us. It will have to be just me and my brothers. 

As much as that saddens me, it excites me at the same time. I have to go on a 19 hour plane journey(minus stops) with my brothers for the first time. I have gone on a plane all by myself before, but that was only to California. It was that big of a deal. Going to India is so much more complicated. Especially once you land there. What scares me is missing any of the flights. I wouldn't know what to do. 

Anyways, I do love the house we are planning on maybe buying. It has 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom, a theater room, office, a patio under the freaking deck, and I even love the yard. I think the yard is the only problem I ever have with liking houses. Our yard right now is HUGE. Like it's around half a football field. So I always want a pretty big yard to play around in and all. So this new yard is pretty big. It'll have to do. The master suit has a personal bathroom and a walk-in-closet. Ummm, that'll be mine then!
I just made plans on meeting my friend to shopping at target tomorrow. Yeah. This is the kind of stuff that really gets us excited, it's so sad, but it's not.
I realized that I have had a nice facial spa day, so I've decided to do one at 11 pm. cool... I have my face mask on from Lush and it's doing it's thang. I kind of just want to sleep now. 

I Finally Watched Frozen

I don't really know what I did today.

I mean I do, but they seem so little. 

I went to my moms work for the morning. Got home and basically ate. I then went to pick up my brother and went to return my passport picture because the passport people said it was too bright. I also went to get my 1080 tax form because it's tax season. I came back and cleaned my cars carpet and the dashboards. 

We made dumpling tonight. I also freaking watched Frozen. It was alright. I could've done without the songs though. I tried to watch Iron Man 2, but it's already 10:40 and I feel like I need to sleep in early tonight for some reason. 

But yea. See, I didn't do much today, but at the same time, I did A LOT. I think it's just what I did, took so long that even though it's a lot, it's not really a lot. Am I even making sense anymore? Do I ever make any sense? Who flipping knows. 

Getting Ready For India

Basically got woken up this morning by my mom because she wanted me to get my passport renewed. Since we are going to India in 2 months, I need that. But yeah. I got ready and got my pictures taken. I always HATE getting pictures taken. Like for school, ID, passport, or whatever. I just hate it. 

After that and a long time struggling to fill out the form, we went and got my passport renewed!!! Yayyy, now I can go to India!

I came back and got my car washed and then when I got home, I did a MAJOR car clean up. My cars not that dirty. I just vacuumed it out and took out the carpets and the rubber protector things to wash them. I had sand in the back of my car for winter so the weight helps my car not slip on ice. I took that out and it was a mess. Apparently, theres a hole in that bag of sand. 

Then I ate, watched a bit of youtube and fell asleep. I felt disgusting when I woke up. I hated it. Then after about an hour me and mom went to the gym. We were there for almost 2 hours. That is flipping crazy. 

I just watched Iron Man. I forget whatever I watch. It's like Im not meant to watch movies. I always forget everything. But yeah. I freaking love Iron Man!!! That's really about it. Think I am off to bed. 

Are We Moving?

I woke up this morning and checked my phone, IT WORKS!!! But the screen looks like there something dirty on it and a bit foggy at the top corner. I was thinking, should I go and get it fixed?.. Or is it not worth it.. I have the 5s. Maybe I won't fix it. But I’m thinking, do I tell my mom about it? I mean yeah I broke my phone a little but I managed to fix it, so is it even worth telling my mom and just get lectured about how I am never careful with expensive stuff and they shouldn’t buy nice phones for me anymore. But what if she understands. Nahhhh. I won’t tell her.

The wifi stopped working last night so I couldn’t really search up anything. Wifi is the reason I split nail polish remover on my phone in the first place. I lost it on my laptop so I reached over to check my phone and there goes the nail polish remover. And it didn’t help that I was in the dark so I didn’t even see what I split it on. Now I hate our wifi even more. 

I’m exhausted now. It’s 7:30. I had to go drop my brother off to school and now I am back. I think I finally slept around 12:30? 

We got a new router and modem so the internet finally works. Now I shall watch youtube videos. Whoop Whoop. How time during Spring Break should be spent.

I haven't done really anything major today. Me and mom went shopping earlier this morning and spent about $300. Whoops. I got new leggings and that's about it. I really wanted to get a couple of other things, but decided not to because I knew I didn't really need it. 
My parents are looking at new houses to buy. We found one in Forest Lake that looks really nice. It has a decent backyard so that's good. And the inside of the house isn't that bad. I don't know how I feel about the bedrooms, but I guess I can just have the biggest one there or make the basement into my room, like how it is now. I don't know. We'll have to see. Mom and dad are also saying that if they need to be here during the summer if they end up wanting to buy the house, they might not get to go to India. But they said me and my brothers can go, so that's all good. It would be so cool to come back to a new house.

I Broke My Phone!!!

I have woken up so early today!!! well... 8:30, but I went to bed at like 12, so it's early. Anyways, I looked out my window this morning to see how the weather is like and it looked like it's rained!! I seriously love it when it rains during spring time. 

Now you're probably like, it's spring, it's suppose to rain. But let me tell you, there is something about the spring temperature and the rain mixed together that just puts me in the perfect mood. I hate it when it rains during summer. That is not what I like because it's suppose to be sunny and warm during summer. I don't know. I'm just a weirdo maybe. 

I don't know if we have any plans for today. I have a small lab to do for class that's due tonight then I have an essay that's due next Sunday, but I might just do that today? I don't know, lets see how things go. Knowing me, I'll probably end up doing it last minute.

So I had a super sad dream last night and I usually have tons of weird dreams every night, so I was thinking that I should start a dream journal. I read or someone told me that if you write out your dreams, you can end up controlling what you do in your dreams. Which seems so cool. 

I also have sleep paralysis, where my mind is awake, but my body is asleep and then I end up having this super realistic dream where something evil is coming right at me, but I can't do anything. I can't move or talk or anything. So I was hoping that writing out my dreams might help my sleep paralysis. It's been getting real bad lately and I want to do something about it. I wonder if I should do a blog about it. I have some pretty crazy dreams. Hmmm. I'll think about it.

I've had a nap... I think I slept for about an hour? I got woken up to go to the gym. I guess I should do that since I haven't gone since Thursday. I am so tired. And I need to brush my teeth and get ready. Alright, LET'S DO THIS!!!!

God I love a good sunset. I think that is the perfect way to end a day. They are so beautiful. I think I personally prefer sunsets over sunrise. I would like to start a day with a sunrise, but because that means getting up super early, I just can't get myself to do it. Then I think I hate it a bit because when I am up early enough to see it, I have to drive to school and while I am driving the sun gets in the way and I can't see so I end up getting mad at the sun. But sunsets are less bright and more color so I just LOVE it! 

I've decided to watch Iron Man. I don't know what movies to watch anymore. Suggestions would be nice. I might just go to bed after this. 

I think might've just broken my phone.....

I accidentally knocked nail polish remover on top of the screen and it went in through the top hole. The screens gone weird and I can't do anything with it. You guys!!! I broke my phone! My parents are going to KILL me. Oh my god. I really hate myself right now. Ughh. I'm so disappointed. I have put it in a bowl of rice, but I don't think that's going to work. I don't mind if the screen looks weird, but I just want it to work. Let's see what happens tomorrow.  I should sleep now, but I don't know if I can. 

Busy Day

Literally woke up this morning to find out that I had to leave in like an hour to go to this charity thing with my mom and aunt. It makes me so mad when my parents plan something, and don't tell me, but I have to go with them. 

Well, I had to go to help out with the food and stuff. When we got there, I just stood there for about 20 minutes not really doing anything. Then this guy who manages the money had to do some work, but he had a kid. So what does my mom do? She volunteers me to watch his kid. 

I kid you not, I watched that girl for the whole day. It's not bad. I do love kids, but it wasn't really what I planned on doing. I don't know. I didn't even want to be there in the first place. 

Anyway, towards the middle of the whole thing, once we finished setting up and everything, we had about 3 hours before the party began and I shit you not, those were the longest 3 hours of my life. I had no wifi. My battery was low. I didn't know anyone there. The kid I was watching fell asleep on my lap so her mom put her in her stroller. So I had NOTHING. absolutely nothing. 

Then 3 hours later my uncle brought his kids and my brother so I was saved. It was alright. I mean they did leave me to go play outside, but now I could charge my phone. 

Then.... 

I met the hottest guy of our kind.  He was tall and had a stubbles, which is always a bonus, and he wore a leather jacket and was a total hipster and... He was just a babe.   He might look like he's 7 years older than me and he might not be as rich as a want him to..... but he's hot. It's not like I plan on marrying him or anything, but it's good to know they exist. Hot guys... 

But I just got home and I am EXHAUSTED. Watching 5 kids gets to you. I think I want to watch some youtube videos before going to bed!

And It Begins

Just finished a Calc midterm only to be reminded that we have homework due today, which of course, I didn't do. Ugh. Gotta do that really quickly and turn it in. Typical me. 

On the bright side, it is a really nice and sunny day. It could be warmer, but it's alright. I am SO flipping excited that today is the last day and then SPRING BREAK starts! whoop whoop. I can't wait for it to start and I don't want to end. 

So for my discrete math class, I need to go see my professor during his office hours time and ask him 2 questions to get extra credit. Now, what do you do, when you actually need help, but you're a dumbass who doesn't understand a thing that's happening in class and is afraid he'll ask you questions about how to do the homework questions? I emailed him instead. I'm sure I wont be getting those extra credits, but who needs points when your'e planning on dropping out of college.... 

When Will It Stop

It's a new day!! 

I am still not over Zayn leaving One Direction, but that can't be the only thing I talk about. 

I heard about the Pretty Little Liars finale sucked ass. That sucks for the fans who's waited ages to see who A is, and it's just some random guy. I quit watching that like season 3 or 4 when everything became so repetitive. I tried to watch it again, but I couldn't do it. It just didn't interest me anymore. What I did love about that show was their clothes. It always gave me ideas about what to wear. 

It's 7:30. I don't have school today, so I'm happy, but I still have a midterm tomorrow so I have to study for that.
So I have gone to the gym, yes yes, and I have showered, ayyyyyye. Now I need to get ready for my brothers Honor Roll. Then I need to get studying!!!
Turns out we're not going. My brother didn't RSVP. what. an. idiot. I freaking got ready!!!
I don't want to study. Maybe I'll watch a movie, regret it, and then study?
Still not over Zayn leaving.
Still not over Zayn leaving. 

RIP One Direction

YOOOOOOOOO. Guess what. It snowed. But it's melting away so that's good. I only have 2 more days of school and it's SPRING BREAK. I am so ready for a break. 

Alright, let's take this damn test.
MAJOR RANT:
I just found out it's official. Zayn left one direction. I'm happy for him, I am. But I'm mad. It should've never came to this. He never should've felt so stressed out and sad that he had to leave One Direction. I want him to get better and live the life he wants to. But I and a lot of people know this isn't what he would've really wanted. If they're management team cared about the boy's well being and their health, it would've never come to this. No one would be sad or stressed and no one would've left the band. But no. Management only cared about making more money and they did whatever they can to achieve that. They put out tour after tour. They released album after album. The boys were recording songs while touring. And even though we all sat there saying 'Wow that's really impressive,' it's actually really sad. They worked day and night. Never getting any break. And the breaks they did get, it was never enough for the boys to actually relax. The break ended before it really even started.
I can't believe management managed to cause Zayn so much stress, that he paid 10 million pounds to get out of the contract. They probably still don't care. As long as they have the rest of the boys, they probably still wants to make more money.
What scares me is now that one member of the band is gone, would management make the other boys work harder? Because they might not make as much or they might lose fans. Will this cause the other boys to stress out?
This can't be happening. This just can't be happening. Why is this happening?
I had to calm myself down. Doodled a little. It really helped. Guess I should start that homework now then.... 

Not Enough

It's already 1:40 pm and I'm off to a shit start. I have to study for 2 exams, make 2 cheat sheets for those exams, and 2 homework. And I'm blogging instead. 

I have spent 3 hours doing one homework. OH MY GOD!!! I'm screwed. 

I still have to go to the gym.

You guys. I'm ready. I'm ready to become famous for no reason and keep it up by not doing anything. If only life was that easy. Maybe I'll meet a rich guy who'll feed me from time to time. My standards are so high.... -__-.. I just want to get these exams over with. I'm not even ready to take them, but I just want to get them over with. I'm just not meant for the school life.
Guys!!! Let all buy an island and support each other without going to school and all. Let's live a simple life somewhere far away!. I reckon we can buy an island. If we all pitched in. Can you imagine owning an island??? That was fun. Now back to studying.
Great. I'm exhausted after the gym. How do I carry on?
Alright!!! I am so close to being done with one notecard!!! partayyy. But I still have so much more to do!
God I love Spotify. It has songs for everything!!!!
Well I drew for the past hour. Damn it!!!!!!!!! 

I Can Do It!!!

Good morning people!

Last night while trying to finish my homework, I found my life quote or motto. "Better late than never." It's not like I love living by this or I want it, but that's how it is. 

Right now, I'm sat at my vanity writing a blog when I should be getting ready for school. Ugh. The struggles. Today is one of those days where you feel like you're awake because you only got about 5 hours of sleep, but it's deceiving because you're tired as hell. Or am I the only one who goes through that? All I know is that by the time it's about 12, I am going to lose all my energy! That's half way through school. 

You know what's great about having 2 1/2 hour break after my first class. I get to procrastinate even more and do my homework for the next class there. But you know what sucks about having a 2 1/2 hour break after my first class. Knowing that I could've gone home earlier, but instead I have to waste my time at school. 

Today, to switch it up, I sat in a different room of my school building for my break. And it has an amazing view. It looks down at the Dew Drop Pond that we have which has a little bridge that goes over to a little island looking thing and it is beautiful! I can also see the whole horizon or the city and I just love this spot now!
Well, things turned out for the worse. After computer programming class I felt anxious. The whole car ride home was like that until I was about 2 minutes away. I had a little panic attack. I pulled up in my garage and waited. It came back. Now I;m just sat in my car in the dark garage like a weirdo because I'm just not ready to face whats outside this metal box.
I'm much better now.
You know what's a good song. Stitches by Shawn Mendes. I'm really digging that song. Digging. Yeah, I used that word.
Well I'm really excited I don't have any classes tomorrow. Whoop whoop!! Then I have 2 exams on Wednesday. *sigh. But on the bright side I have freaking spring break next week!!! PARTAYYYY. jk, I'm not cool like that.
I'm exhausted. Guess it's night night!!

The Beginning Of 'Testaments Of A Dreamer'.

Before we dive into anything, I would like to start out my new blog by saying that this blog is my life. I want to write everything I feel and think that is posting worthy here. Even if it's not, I want to write it. 

My idea to do this came from watching The Social Network. In the beginning, Mark is drunkenly writing a blog about his girlfriend that just broke up with him. And although that is not my intention, I want to start writing about things that happens in my life. It's so stupid but it's going to happen. It's like a journal that I want to share with the world, although the 'world' might not even see this. 

I want to look back at this blog and reminisce about everything that has happened. Lessons to be learned and what-not. Maybe it might even help you guys. 

I would like to put out a disclaimer before we go anywhere from here:

I CAN'T WRITE FOR SHIT!!! 

I shit you not, I can't write. I tend to over think and don't think enough when I write. I sometimes won't make any sense and other times I might repeat things like 20 times, but it's ok. It's who I am. 

Alright then! Let's just dive into my life. 

So right now it's 7:30 pm, I should be writing a computer science program for my class. But I decided I would rather start a blog I might not even stick to. Life is weird like that. I have done everything I can to avoid my homework. I did my women's fitness labs and assignments, but I still haven't started on the program. This reminds me that in the Social Network movie, Mark was like a crazy programmer. I wish I could do that. Life would be a lot easier that way. I'm not a big fan of that movie or anything. I literally saw that movie 2 nights ago and it's fresh in my mind. 

Oh well. It's snowing. Even though it's March 22?! Of course. I live in Minnesota. It's expected. 

I don't really know what else to write about. Maybe I'll have something later.
I have a presentation due tomorrow !!! I'll just sleep then.